wktd on Mar 14th 2010 05:46 am edit
I am young, nieve, as inexperienced as you can get. I guy twice my age asked me out several months ago in which I ignored. During the past few months he has approched me constantly warming up to me. So I developed a crush, which happens to be my second crush ever. So eventually I asked him out in which case I was very nervous but very happy I did so. He said he would get back with me the next day. So that next morning he said he would love to go out with me but I had to understand something. He has been married for the past 3 years! I was so upset. I told him I could not go out with him due to his marriage. I did not want to ruin his marriage or hurt his wife I said. So he continues to talk to me and says to get back with him in a few days. Two days later we end up somehow alone together for about 15 minutes. He is all telling me he wants to go out and I should live life to the fullest and all that. He grabs my hand and keeps talking to me and such. My answer was still no but he makes me feel good so it was difficult.
I don't understand why this would be my fault. I did not temp the man or anything unless if being born is temptation enough. As a matter of fact I am very shy and quite around him. I am also a very honest person so whenever he asks questions I answer him truthfully without thinking. I still have feelings for the man eventhough he has mislead me and hurt me.
I just don't understand why it would be my fault if something happened. I have said no, multiple times.
I have been told to file sexual harrassment charges against him but I don't want to get him fired or hurt him. Besides that would hurt his wife too, because then he would be out of a job.Tell him yourself you will file a sexual harassment suit if he does not leave you alone. Then it will be his fault if he continues to harass you. The man is a predator trying to break you down. If he succeeds then yes it will be as much your fault as his if you let this continue. You arent helpless, the law has given you power to put a stop to it.Twice I have had a married guy try to get with me, and twice I turned them down. Its not that hard, your find someone who's right for you, if you settle with this guy your wasting your time.Stop answering him honestly - stop telling him that you find him attractive! In fact, stop talking to him altogether! He sounds horrible.
It's not your fault if you're saying no. But at the same time, if you're letting him know you find him attractive, you're leading him on.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that you've come to your senses and want him to leave you alone. And that if he doesn't, you will make sure his wife finds out. Tell him that his behaviour, the way he is persuing you despite being married, has actually put you off him. Even if that is not true.What would be your fault...if you went out with him and his wife found out? That would be partly your fault. Stop talking to him or having anything to do with him. You say you're not interested but you keep talking to him and now you say you have feelings for him. Men that don't take NO for an answer are not to be trusted. and who cares if his wife finds out or he loses his job. That would definitely be HIS fault.Tell him you have met someone else. Why are there so many cheaters? If i knew this guy I would go cute his balls off. What a jerkIn your case-you didn't sleep with him did you? Then all is good..you did the right thing. When people blame the other woman it is because they took the next step. The guy is definitely to blame as well...he is the married one. And no, you can't help it if he keeps asking you out and making you feel "special". But you can help what you do about it.its both of you all fault if you knew he was married and did it anyway then thats why they would be mad but he made the commitment you didnt but it takes 2 Avoid him, if something happens it would be your fault as well as his. You keep saying no then nothing will happen. He has a wife, this is a no go area.It would be your fult for the simple fact that that you KNOW that he is married. Think of how you would feel if YOU were the wife and your scum bag husband cheated on you. What if they had kids? How would you feel if because of the actions that you helped to create that family broke up and those kids lost their father? Now to be fair you are probaly not the first and I doubt that you will be the last, but why mess with this man when there are many single guys out there looking for a great young lady?This guy is not good. He's really being the worst. He's the one who made vows to his wife. If you did what he wanted you would be bad too, but, in my eyes anyway he bears more blame than you.
My suggestion is to keep away from him if you can. If you can't just tell him in no uncertain terms that what he is doing is wrong and to stop.It would be both your faults. Just because you said no the first few times, and finally caved in doesnt make you innocent. As im reading what you wrote, it looks like you are trying to get the point across to us that your a good person, and a honest person, but you contradict your self when you question whether it would be your fault. You said you have feelings for this man. You need to leave him alone. If he is going to mess up his marriage, let him do it on his own and not bring you into it. He is married, leave him alone. Dont talk, dont have private conversations with him. Honestly, you have no business talking to him and vis versa. So, yes, it is also your fault. You stated you had feelings for him, and you are continuing to communicate with him even though you know he's married.
and i have a feeling you dont intend to stop talking to him, am I right? Poor wife, good to know us woman look out for one another.A jerk telling you he likes you when he's got a wife makes you feel good?Who said it's your fault? You found out he was married and then declined to go out with him any more, and the worst that happened after that is that you let him talk to you for 15 minutes. So good for you. That's not your fault, except on planet bizarro.
If you kept going out with him after you knew he was married, then you would share some of the blame for the affair. But you didn't. And you're not going to, right? You shouldn't have to resort to threats to get a guy to take no for an answer, though it might be expedient to do so if he doesn't back off. It'll be easier for you to get over him if you don't talk to him more than absolutely necessary for work and there are no more awkward conversations.#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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